capitalism *is* fun :-)

This is an old one (at least for me), but I have decided to post it, since it’s fun.
I will now describe the various models of capitalism in the world.

Traditional capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and buy a bull. Later you will get to have a lot of cows, sell them, and retire rich.

Corporate capitalism (Enron type): You have 2 cows. You sell 3 cows in an IPO, using bank guarantees from your brother in law. Then you swap a debt for a public offer and buy back the 4 cows with tax exemption for 5 cows. Ownership of the 6 cows is transferred to an offshore company in the Cayman Islands who is owned by the majority stock holder, who will then sell you back the 7 cows. According to your annual report, you have 8 cows and options for another one. You sell one cow, and buy the US president. No report is being published. The people buy it.

American capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other one to produce the equivalent of milk produced by 4 cows. You are surprised when it dies.

French capitalism: You have 2 cows. You are on strike, demanding to own 3.

Japanese capitalism: You have 2 cows. You redesign them to be 10 times smaller then a normal cow, and produce 20 times more milk. Then you create cartoons with them, called Cowkemon and promote them worldwide.

German capitalism: You have 2 cows. You redesign them to live 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

British capitalism: You have 2 cows. Both are mad.

Italian capitalism: You have 2 cows, but you have no idea where they are. You take your lunch break.

Russian capitalism: You have 2 cows. You count them and have 5. You count them again and have 42. You count them again and have 16. You stop counting and open another bottle of vodka.

Swiss capitalism: You have 5000 cows, but none belongs to you. You charge the owners a depositing tax.

Indian capitalism: You have 2 cows. You worship them.

Chinese capitalism: You have 2 cows. 300 people are busy milking them. You have zero unemployment, high productivity and arrest the reporter that published different figures.