capitalism *is* fun :-)

A bunch of shower-hater / social networking fans who ‘claim’ to represent the interests of animals, displayed acts of random violence, outside a posh restaurant to ban Foie Gras. These people will manifest against everything that is good and expensive and has a 100% chance they will never taste it in their lifetime. You can read more here. Get over it people. It’s capitalism we live in. If these people, which represent like half the planet, would be taken and left in the woods to starve off, global warming would be sorted out. These people live on the backs of those that work hard to be able to aford some delicious Foie Gras.

A friend of mine showed me the site today. You are going to love this. The very first perfume for personal use only. Vulva . Visit the site. I will let you figure it out for yourself I think I will order mine for 26 Euros (shipping included)

With crude oil over $100, Dan suggested a good investment idea. Toilet paper producers. Sales will go through the roof, as soon as people will see the price of gas at the pump. Good thing those SUV’s have plenty of room to carry ample supplies of toilet paper With today’s uncertain markets, crude oil surely is over $100, and this stock will rise

I have spoken with Dan on the telephone today. He was reading an article about men and what does their car express.

Let me put it this way:Look under your hood. The engine capacity is directly proportional with your manhood. And don’t feed me the “save the planet by driving a 0.05 litre, crap”. The engine capacity in litres, multiplied by 10 will most likely give you the size of your instrument.

Then there is the choice between diesel and petrol. Diesel is always to lazy to get up and go Not the petrol engine Same for your manhood.

We can go a bit further and have turbochargers, superchargers, and so on, to have even more performance.

Question: What do you drive? As I like to put it : What’s in your pants, is most likely under your hood aswell.

I drive a 2.0 Litres, petrol, turbocharged

I got dressed to run down to the post office. Just when I am about to close the door, I notice a piece of paper on my door. It was nicely attached. Hmm … wtf? I was home all day long and haven’t played any music (Keep this in mind for late). They could have knocked or something. I look at the paper. It was printed on a printer, very professionally formated just like a legal notice. I will atempt a word-by-word translation:

Dear mr. living at apartment 15,

Several people living in this building have been repeatedly disturbed by your loud nightly manifestations. Given the fact that some of us have a job and would like to rest, some of us are students and have exams and also there are children who require silence, we consider that the situation can’t continue like this. We are no longer willing to accept to be terrorized by a person who lacks respect for those surrounding him.We call upon your common sense to discontinue your inadequate behaviour. Otherwise, we have decided to notify the competent authorities and you will support the legal consequnces.

Dated and signed, The Building Inhabitants.

Brilliant. They must have spent at least an hour to compose half a page. Making every sentence clear and correctly spelled. Better then a lawer. 

Further on. Offcourse you have a job. How on earth would you pay your mortgage otherwise? You need to wake up and go work your brains out. Offcourse you are a student. You have to burn your dad’s cash living here, in one of the most expensive places in town ($1900 for a square meter). And offcourse you have kids. You were to cheap to buy condoms. Those are none of my problems.

Next door, lives a nice couple which I know. They have no kids. Across me, lives a single girl, which plays her music LOUD every day. The next door, are again 2 young girls.

Who pulled of this trick on me? Good. Dare not knock on me door, or I shall summon the forces of darkness upon you!

I think I am going to print arrow on the backside of the paper, and stick up on my door again, with line : “Stick it up your arse, this way up”

Yeah … I do turn up the music from time to time, but not that often, and not during the night. Fear my revenge as it shall come upon you. 

According to Coutts the inflation index for the wealthy was 9.1%, compared to just 2.1% for the average person, in the UK, meaning the price of luxury goods went up more, then the price for regular crap you buy everyday. That’s good. The less people that can afford the same stuff, the better for the rest of us. I can’t be bothered.

Market roundup:
My investment in a commodity-derivatives oriented fund, administered by Julius Baer, went up 4.7% in the past month. Russian equities are going up again, with the RTSI over 2000 points again It does miracles to me

Yahoo didn’t sell. It was easy to figure. Look at the VOLUMES, *before* the news on the MSFT offer went public.Someone knew, and that sure wasn’t you

 That is why YouTube does so well. Because you spend your time watching crap on YouTube about things like this, instead of looking at the charts. Better luck next time, and remember where you heard this tip from

For God’s sake, go home and watch the documentary on Enron. You will learn a few things. And while at it, rent or buy a copy of Boiling Room. Vin Diesel plays an excellent role as a market trader. An awesome movie to watch. 

You will know that you are doing well, when people ask you questions like : “Why do you need something?” and your answer is : It’s not a “need”, it’s a “can”. I don’t need to drive a gas-guzzler to buy a pack of cigarettes. I can drive it there.I know you people are going to hate me … but I can live with that. Some of you will find a way, or an excuse :) 

Let’s all give another boost to the chinese economy, by going out and getting loads of crap to impress our girlfriends. Today is the day that most likely your girlfriend will realize that the present you got her, is a lot cheaper then the one her friend got from her boyfriend. She will offcourse point this out to you in a very friendly maner, by ending the phrase with ” … but I love you anyway”. Then she will make a small pause … to admire the new headlights on my sports car, as I park it. So much for her love This year I have no female companion, so the funds went to buy myself a new widescreen TFT display, some stocks and perhaps a bottle of whiskey, later on Cheers to all the ladies out there. Your cash hit the stockmarket this year. I mean come on … have you seen the stock market today? It’s where all the money is going … NOT to buy you chinese crap for Vallentines.

/owned

My good old friend Dan, who went from a free-thinking entrepreneur to a full time corporate slave, got himself the $1000 flop clock. Everytime the clock flops, he makes $1000 for the corporation. $10 is used to pay him. $990 goes to us, shareholders (Shareholder = The people with the serious faces, who once a year tell the employees after looking at the profits: Is this all you could do?). The governmint takes $1.6 tax from him (16%). Also, he pays 19% VAT on every useless crap he buys. He gets the change :) 

because here comes the real deal from the Russian Standard Bank. The Imperia credit-card, which has no limits on how much money you can spend. No wonder, Mr. Putin just declared in the Moscow Times, that Russia will become the best country to live in. I make my bet on that. What else do you need? Beautyful women and credit-card with no limits The russian way of life, which is a nice mix of comunism and capitalism run by a bunch of oligarhs, it’s starting to look good. 

Turning on to wider markets, the RTSI russian index is up 1.16%, which is good, as I have a small stake in russian equities
They sure have a good chance. As poor as they are, they are still a cash based society, backed up by tremendous amounts of natural resources. Their future looks better then that of eco-friendly/web 2.0 loonies in western countries

Seriously. I am having a hangover. Please don’t continue to convince me how cool the MacBook Air is, after reading this post. I am not in the mood. I get this crap everyday, when people ask me why do I need a 200 bhp car to go shopping? It’s not a matter of NEED. It’s a matter of CAN. Period. Same thing with the MacBook Air. It’s not what you need. It has been nicely designed, keeping in mind the most important aspects of it’s usage. It will fit nicely with the furniture in SBUX, it comes in gray to reflect enough light to cause eye-damage to anyone looking at it, and MOST important, the battery will always outlast the time you spend in SBUX keeping it open and pretending that you are actually using it. It can be *clearly* seen from the outside, by lower class people passing by with their children saying: “Look mom, that guy has a MacBook Air”, and mom giving him the obvious answer : “Now son, don’t be a hater. God loves every person equally”.

If God would have wanted men to all have MacBook Air’s, he would have give them more money.